Current mood:	different
Current music:	THE TIDE IS HIGH--BLONDIE

what does it take for guys to get the hint??

Session Start: Tuesday, April 26, 2005

[08:05:49 AM]  F: hi
[08:05:49 AM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[08:05:53 AM] *K: ?
[08:06:53 AM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[05:34:15 PM] F: kiss
[05:35:17 PM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[06:00:17 PM]  F: ;)
[06:00:17 PM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[06:01:19 PM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[06:05:40 PM] *K: gag
[06:05:43 PM] * FIRTHMANDAN is now Away (idle)
[06:06:41 PM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.

Session Start: Wednesday, April 27, 2005  

[10:04:11 AM] F: hi
[10:05:09 AM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[10:18:21 AM] F: (K)
[10:19:21 AM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[11:05:28 AM]F: talk to me
[11:05:29 AM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[11:56:02 AM]  *K: why so u can tell michelle lies about me
              again?
              fuck that.. im not walking in to that again
[12:45:55 PM]  F: slowdown i said that shit to piss her off
              and it work
[12:46:23 PM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[01:36:43 PM] F: hi
[01:37:01 PM]  *K: ...
[01:37:25 PM]  F: whats ur problem i never did shit to u
[01:39:07 PM] *K: u got michelle pissed at me..
              and then ignored me once again for a few dayz..
              then when i finally decide i cant go thru this BS with
              ur mind games anymore and tell u not to talk to me.. u
              msg me on my phone..
              then u get irritated and call me fat..
              soooo what do u think is gunna happen dan?
[01:40:07 PM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[01:40:29 PM] F: get married
[01:40:30 PM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[01:41:25 PM] [ *K: ahhh!
             are u nutz
              ur like a fucking walking talking 8 ball..
             
              anything can pop up, and half the time its sumthing u
              dont like !
[01:41:52 PM] F: 8 ball?
[01:42:37 PM]  F: u love it
[01:43:54 PM]  *K: ya u know spin it and it says sumthing..
              NO I REALLY DONT..
             
              i hate the fact that u are here and there when ever u
              please,
              i hate the fact that u think u can do what ever and not
              have consequences
              i hate the fact that i know NOTHING about u and
              i hate the fact that, u claim to wanna make an attempt
              to make things work.. BUT it never happpens
[01:44:55 PM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[01:46:20 PM] F: dont hate the player hate the game baby
              girl
[01:47:33 PM]  *K: i do.. i hate games...
              so the only thing i can do is choose to lose this game
              and walk away smiling  
[01:48:07 PM]  F: relax
[01:48:23 PM] F: what u maen i can be anywere
[01:49:23 PM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[01:52:14 PM]  *K: u like me u dont.. u like my friends then
              u dont..
              ur up for doing sumthing then u bail
              then u drink and turn into a person i care to have
              nothing to do with..
              i dont get u, and i know i never will..
              and i dont like it.. soo if the only way to keep me sane
              is to walk away.. i have to do that
[01:52:52 PM]F: slowdown
[01:52:54 PM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[01:54:11 PM]  *K: why?
[01:54:43 PM]  F: cause your acting crazy
[01:54:57 PM] *K: how?
[01:55:09 PM]F: ^o)
[01:55:39 PM]  *K: ive been going around in circles for the
              past 2 months with u..
              and i think this is the first time i havent been crazy
[01:56:09 PM]  F: is that good?
[01:56:14 PM] * *Kara*Bear* is now On The Phone
[01:56:17 PM] * *Kara*Bear* is now Away
[01:56:39 PM]*K: for me.. yes..
[01:56:53 PM] F: :|
[01:57:30 PM]  *K: do u get anything i am saying rite now?
[01:57:40 PM]  F: yes
[01:57:50 PM] [13:57:50] *K: then what am i saying dan
[01:58:21 PM]F: that iam a bad dude and u dont want to
              talk to me
[01:58:48 PM] *K: im saying .. to keep my sanity, i CANT talk to u..
[01:59:18 PM] F: ok if thats the way u want it then thats
              the way it will bw ok...bye
[01:59:21 PM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[01:59:56 PM] *K: bye !

Session Start: Saturday, April 30, 2005

[02:02:37 PM] F: (K)
[02:02:37 PM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[02:03:39 PM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.
[02:09:35 PM] F: hi
[02:09:35 PM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation
[03:22:26 PM] F: hi
[03:22:26 PM] FIRTHMANDAN has left the conversation.

*************************************************************

Is he fucking retarded? i mean really i tell  him i dont wanna talk to him anymore and he still sends me kisses? wtf... hes got serious problems.. and he wont leave me alone.. wtf do i do now? wtf have i gotten myself into?
y couldnt i be like his friend jay and walk away the second time we hung out? why do i have to be so nice to ppl when i meeet them... ahhh!!!

my fault should of listen to michelle ALONG time ago an ended it the first time he was an ass to me..

i hate men, they make no sense and they seem to think they can do what they want have not have consequences to their actions.. well fuck that i am NOT talking to him ever again..

i really need to find a down to earth "real" boy..
i need to have one that makes me truely happy and not have to make excuses for them..
does any exist out there?

i either find to clingy or to possessive,  OOOR the to distant, not caring enuff, cant figure them out cuz their  secretive.....
there are NO happy mediums..

im done with dating for a while.. i realy cant do this anymore.. lol.. when i can get my head into the game where i can decipher a "good" guy to a "retarded" guy, then i will date again.. but until then.. fuck that lol.. ill keep my distance thanx
***********************************************


umm ok next news...

im "not" moving out.. i cant find a room mate lol..
well i can but things came up.. so thats not gunna work .. which is fine.. at least this way, im getting my own phone line, my own car, andpay them "rent" so i can make my own rules..
i already told my parents that if i stay this is the way its gunna be.. and they were not happy with that.. but none the less they have no choice unless they kick me out... and i cant see them doing that... anyhow, im awaiting sum car insurance quotes from my insurance agent "darlene" so thats cool... by next month or two i will have a car .. yay me...

what else.. school is done for a week.. i have to go back may 9th, till july 29th.. grrrr.. lol. my fault i decided to take sum summer programs and thats not to bad at least it will keep me busy during the summer and not allow me to be a house hermit completely.. haha .. at least ill have 2 days off a week except working, so i can do things then..
plus i wont be working mondays, so that works..

Ryan is coming down this weekend to spend it with sarah.. and i think she got me his transformer sweater.. YAY.. i heart u sarah.. haha .. i walked thru his door when we went there the other weekend , and i seen it hanging there and i was like OMG I WANT IT.. and then he was joking that we can have it.. but i didnt grabit.. so sarah talked to him and he might be bringing it today !!!! haha yay me.. im excited..

michelle is coming over tonite, and then sarah and ryan might be coming to pick us up and we are gunna take him to the tunnel.. so that would be cool... i just hope it stops raining.. i cant wait for tonite..

umm next.. i am procrastinating on my room.. im doing laundry surely but slowly.. ahah .. it will get done.. i have to make room in my room for a desk.. cuz im buying myself a computer.. soo we shall see how well that works out.. ahaha..  i cant picture it working .. ahaha .. oh well.. i will squueze it in there.. my room is sooo cluttered.. i need to throw stuff out.. haha .. but there is nothing to throw out.. I AM NOT TOUCHING THE ANIMALS.. haha .. they can stay on my bed .. ahah .. an thats basicall the only useless things in ,y room..
OOOH i get to mount the rest of my sconsis today.. yay me.. i need one more ..to make it complete so  i have to go back to V.V. and pick one up if i can find one that matches..  Hmmm.. i think that is it for now tho.. i should get back to my room..

Well LATER DAYZ !!!